Die to feel alive
by Skovko
Summary: Once again Dean has managed to get one of the female co-workers into bed. He's expecting Diana to act like everyone else and come running for more next day but she's back to being cold like she always is. This doesn't set good with him and for once he starts chasing a woman himself to get more. However, things are taking a dark turn.
1. Guess who I did yesterday

"Guess what I did last night," Dean said.  
"Is it a matter of what? Or who?" Roman asked.  
"You got me there. Guess who I did last night," Dean laughed.  
"I have no idea," Roman said.  
"Di-fucking-ana," Dean said proudly.  
"Diana? As in our Diana? Diana from the company? Wrestler Diana?" Seth couldn't believe it.  
"That's the one," Dean said.  
"I don't believe it," Seth said.  
"Why does that surprise you? I knew it was just a matter of time before she would jump on this dick like everyone else," Dean laughed.  
"Wasn't she the only one you hadn't fucked yet?" Roman asked.

Dean was still laughing while Roman and Seth exchanged a look. Dean hooking up with all their female co-workers had given them all problems from time to time. Most of them came running for more and when they figured out he hadn't been after anything else but another name to his list of women, some of them had taken it out on them as well.

"But it was so worth the wait. She acts so cold around everyone but damn it, she is one hot lady in bed. She let me go all crazy on her," Dean continued.  
"Meaning?" Roman asked.  
"You know what it means. Teeth, nails, slaps. I was almost beginning to worry if she'd let me kill her so I held back," Dean answered with a chuckle.  
"You're crazy," Seth shook his head.  
"I know but it was so worth it. Today comes the hard part though. She's not gonna be able to stay away from me after what I did to her," Dean said convincingly.

Roman started chuckling as he saw her walk into the room to poor herself a cup of coffee.

"Guess we'll find out soon enough," he said and nodded his head in her direction.  
"You guys got my back, right?" Dean asked.  
"Hell no. You brought this on yourself," Seth answered.  
"I'd have your back if it was the other way around," Dean said.  
"It's never the other way around. We don't fuck our co-workers," Seth said.  
"And we don't go through women like you do," Roman added.

She turned around with her cup of coffee and started heading for the door again, not even looking in their direction.

"Morning Diana!" Seth called out and held a laugh within.  
She turned her head and looked at them.  
"Morning guys," she said back and then walked out.

Dean's jaw dropped a little. Not what he had been expecting.

"Oh yeah, she clearly can't stay away," Seth laughed.  
"She wants you so bad," Roman was laughing too.  
"What the fuck was that?" Dean asked in disbelief.  
"That was you being shut down by a woman," Roman said.  
"About bloody time too," Seth added.

Dean was still staring at the door although she was long gone.

"I don't believe it," he said lowly.  
"Believe it. Shit, this is so funny. The look on your face is pure gold," Roman was laughing again.  
"Shut up!" Dean sneered and hit Roman in the chest with the palm of his hand.  
"Uh-oh, someone's cranky now," Roman said.  
"Whatever! See you guys later," Dean said and stomped away angry.


	2. Hurt me

She walked up the ramp, turning around to walk backwards the last few steps while she took a last look at her defeated opponent in the ring. She didn't laugh or mock or anything. She just stared with cold eyes. She preferred being a heel. It suited her perfectly. She didn't have to interact with the fans or smile at them. She could just be herself. The fans had dubbed her "the coldhearted one" long ago.

Walking backstage she immetiately noticed Dean, Seth and Roman there. She knew Seth and Roman were up for a tag match right after and apparently Dean had decided to follow his friends to the gorilla. Why on earth he ran around shirtless was beyond her but she figured he as always tried to lure in one of the female workers. It wouldn't be the first time he had tried that silly tactic.

"Good match, Diana," Dean said.

She quickly looked over at him.

"Thanks," she said while continuing to walk away.

"I don't get it. It's like I'm nothing to her," Dean mumbled.  
"Get over yourself. Not everyone wants you," Seth said.  
"I was gonna wish you both good luck but now it only goes for Roman," Dean said childish.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, Diana left the locker room again just to walk straight out to the sight of Dean leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed across from the door.

"Can we talk?" He asked.  
"Sure," she answered and just looked at him, waiting for him to go on.  
"In private," he added.  
"We can't go in there. There are other women," she said as she pointed to the door behind her.  
"Follow me," he said.

With a little sigh that she wasn't even sure he heard, she followed him down the hallway until he finally opened a door and they both stepped inside.

"Must be nice to be so far up on the top to get your own locker room while the rest of us have to share," she said.

He let the comment slide. He could have said so many harsh things back in return, and normally he would have, but he knew now was not the time. When he didn't say anything at all, she finally turned around and looked at him.

"What do you want?" She asked resignedly.  
"I'm trying to figure you out and I just can't. I thought all you women were the same but you don't act like the other girls around here," he answered.  
"How am I supposed to act?" She asked.  
"Like you actually want me," the words came out before he could stop them.

He bit his lip, knowing he had said a wrong and very stupid thing. She let out a high laugh in disbelief.

"But I don't want you," she said.  
"Everyone wants me," he said, his tone dropping darker.

She shook her head.

"Are you even listening to yourself right now?" She asked.  
"You sure seemed to want me last night," he said.  
"I did at the time but it wasn't what I had expected," she said.  
"What? Don't tell me it wasn't good because you sure could moan," he said.  
"It was alright. It just wasn't great," she said.

His eyes turned angry. Never in his life had he been shot down like that. Before he could rip her head off, she continued.

"Did it ever cross your mind why all of the sudden I wanted to try you out?" She asked.  
"Ehm... no," he said.  
"The other girls talked about you in the locker room. They led on that you were doing certain things to them in bed," she said.  
"Like what?" He asked.  
"Like hurting them. And you started out really good but then you suddenly stopped and held back and it just went downhill from there," she answered.

He closed in on her, pushing her shoulders. For each push she took a step backwards.

"You want me to hurt you, huh?" He asked. "Why don't you show me what you got?"

He kept pushing her, making her go further into the room. It wasn't until her back connected with the wall in the other end that she finally lashed out. Both hands ran across his chest fast, nails digging hard into his skin. He hissed at the pain and took a step backwards before looking down to see blood running from all eight gashes.

He ran his hand over his chest, smearing the blood out on it, before turning his suddenly very dark eyes at her again.

"You're just a fucking lioness, aren't you? You think you can take down a prey better than me?" He growled.

His hand went around her throat and he slammed her back up against the wall. He squeezed tight, wanting to scare and dominate her, show her that no one got away with hurting him like that, but to his surprise her lips curled up into a little smile.

"Oh, so this is what you want?" He said lowly.

Her tongue came out to wet her lips and he felt his dick twitch in his pants.

"For fuck's sake!" He growled lowly and quickly let go as they both heard the door to the locker room open.

Roman and Seth's cheering voices died out the moment they saw them standing there.

"What's going on here?" Roman asked.  
"Dean wanted to talk. Are we done here, Dean, or do you have more to say?" She said.

He waved his hand in the air to let her know she could leave. He had no words left in him right in that moment. She walked across the room and left them all in there.

"Did we just walk in on some kinky shit?" Seth asked.  
"No, we just talked," Dean asked.  
"Yeah, sure looks like talking. Must be some really hard words to make them cut deep like that," Seth chuckled and pointed at Dean's chest.

Later that evening Dean was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on his hotel door. He walked over and opened to find Diana there. He hadn't expected her to show up but he more than welcomed it after what had happened in the locker room. After letting her in, they just stared at each other for a few seconds.

"So, you want me to hurt you?" He finally asked.  
"If you think you got it in you," she answered.  
"If I think...? Lioness, I can hurt you in ways you've never been hurt before," he said confidently.

He reached up to touch her throat, his thumb gently running over it.

"How far are you willing to let me go?" He asked.  
"Why don't you try and find out?" She asked back.  
"I'll go as far as you want. Stop me when I reach your breaking point, okay?" He said.

She nodded and without warning he grabbed her throat tight and started squeezing. He backed her up against the wall, squeezing tighter and tighter as he stared her down. She gasped for air for a while and he knew that any time now, she would cut him off. But she didn't. Instead her entire world went black.


	3. A whole other level of crazy

Softness. It was the first thing she felt when she started coming to again. It took a couple of seconds before she realized she was lying in a bed. Another couple of seconds to remember what had actually happened and why her throat felt sore. She slowly opened her eyes.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Dean's angry voice sounded before he came into her point of view.  
"What do you mean?" She asked.

She reached her hand up to touch her throat as it hurt to speak. He instantly grabbed her wrist and yanked it away.

"Don't touch it!" He growled.

He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her and looked down at her.

"I told you to tell me when I reached your breaking point," he said, almost hissing.  
"You didn't reach it," she said.  
"So what? You were just gonna let me kill you?" He asked.  
"Would that be such a bad thing?" She asked back.

He stared at her in disbelief for a moment, not able to wrap his mind around that she had actually said that.

"You're just on a whole other level of crazy, aren't you?" He finally let out.

He stood up again and started pacing the room, his mind clearly working on overload, until he finally stopped and stared at her again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked.

She sighed and sat up, swinging her legs down on the floor. For a moment she just looked at her feet before looking up to meet his eyes again.

"I don't know. I just feel dead inside," she said.  
"You're taking this whole coldhearted gimmick into your personal life. That's not healthy," he said.  
"No, Dean, it's the other way around. I took my personal life into my gimmick," she said.

He ran his hand through his hair, trying to somehow get a grasp of reality in this weird mess she was creating around him.

"Shit!" He hissed.  
"Have you ever felt so dead inside that you feel like you need to die to feel alive?" She asked.  
He shook his head. He had felt many shitty things in his life but never that.  
"I don't expect you to understand," she said lowly. "When I feel my life being taking away from me, that's the only time I feel something else but cold and dead. I feel at peace, freedom, some weird sort of joy even."

He just kept staring at her, not having a clue as to what to say. Again she sighed before getting back up to her feet.

"I'm sorry, this was clearly a mistake," she said.

She started walking towards the door but he grabbed her arm just as she passed him.  
"No, wait," he said.  
She turned around and looked at him.  
"I might not get what you feel inside and I'm sure as hell not gonna go where we just went again but that doesn't mean we can't make this work somehow. You want me to hurt you, fine, I'll hurt you. God knows I love hurting women during sex and you're the first one allowing me to go all in. But I will not let you go that far again. If you can promise me we'll find a middle way that works for both of us, then I'm still in," he said.  
"Bring me to the edge of darkness and keep me there?" She asked.  
"Without pushing you over," he added.

She thought about it for a few seconds. It was the best deal she had been offered by any man for a long time.

"I'm in," she said.  
"Good. But not tonight though. You scared the shit out of me. I just need some time to come down," he said.  
She nodded. She could understand that.  
"Guess I'll be going then," she said.

Before she could turn around though, he wrapped his arms around her to hug her. He had no idea why he did it. He normally didn't show this kind of affection towards any of the women he slept with but he couldn't stop himself. She didn't hug him back though. Her arms just dangled down her sides.

"Yeah, about that... I don't do hugs," she said into his chest.  
"Neither do I," he said.  
"I can tell," she said sarcastically.  
He looked down at her.  
"It's just a hug. I won't tell anyone if you won't," he said and winked.  
"Sure, why the hell not?" She said and wrapped her arms around him for a quick hug before finally being released by him to go.


	4. The edge

He had waited two days. After she had left and he had gotten a good night's sleep, the guilt had started to set in a bit. It wasn't like he was a saint and it wasn't like she didn't basically beg for it. She wanted to feel pain and he was right there beside her in that department, but with what she had revealed, he couldn't help but feel if he was taking advantage of her. But still, she wanted it, he knew that.

He stood waiting in the gorilla, watching her on the monitor. She was in new ring gear, sand and dark brown, looking like the lioness he had dubbed her to be, taking down her prey. A little smirk on his face as he was sure she had chosen those colours to send him a message. His hand went inside his tank top, his fingers running over the gashes she had made two days earlier. They were healing nicely but he liked feeling them and he wanted more.

He was snatched out of his dirty thoughts as her theme music started playing. He looked at the monitor again, watching her make her way up the ramp, that cold stare back at her defeated opponent. He wanted her really bad right in that moment. Nothing he could do about it though since he was set to enter the moment both women were out. Her eyes quickly caught hold of his as she walked through the gorilla and then she was gone.

He made his way sweaty as hell to the catering right after his match. He needed a bottle of water before heading back to the locker room to shower. His eyes landed on her back the moment he stepped inside. She had just gotten herself a cafe latte from the machine. He walked over without a sound and stood as close to her as he dared. She turned around while sipping on the coffee. She was startled by him standing there and she jumped, making the milk foam smear on her upper lip.

With a little smirk he placed his thumb on her lip.  
"Will you stop by my room tonight?" He asked casually as he wiped her lip with his thumb.  
"Sure," she answered.  
He sucked in his thumb between his own lips before smirking at her again.  
"See you then," he said, grabbed a bottle of water and walked out.

He couldn't stop smiling as he heard knocking on his door later that evening. He knew it was her. He was already shirtless and waiting for her. He walked over to let her in, taking in the sight of her in that black mini dress.

"Just to be clear, this isn't some stupid sub/dom thing," he said after closing the door.  
"I know," she said.  
"I want you to hurt me just as I hurt you. Make my back match my chest," he said as he tapped his fingers on his collarbone.  
"Take my breath away and I'll fucking cut you open if you like," she said with a twisted smile.

He chuckled as he closed the gab between them and bowed his head down to kiss her. His hands trailed down her sides until he reached the hem of her dress. His fingers grabbed it and he pulled it up and over her head. He sucked in his breath by the sight of her. She might feel cold inside but she was still fucking hot to him. It only took him a few seconds to get her out of her underwear, wanting to see her and feel her right away.

He gave her a push towards the bed and she stumbled down on it. She looked at him with wild eyes as he opened his jeans. He quickly got out of them and his boxers before walking over to her.

"No stupid foreplay. Just fucking ravage me," she said.

He chuckled by her words as he climbed up on the bed. He bowed down to bite her inner thigh, making her gasp by the pain, before sitting back up on his knees, grabbing both her thighs and yanking her towards him.

Without warning he pushed himself inside her as hard as he could, not stopping or slowing down once he was fully inside her, just going all crazy on her right away, thrusting in hard and fast. His hand quickly found her throat, squeezing more and more with each thrust.

"There," the word could hardly get over her lips.

He grinned at her, happy to see she kept her part of the agreement by letting him know when to stop.

He kept his hand there tight around her throat, keeping her on the edge as promised, as he started thrusting in as hard as he could. She gasped for air but he didn't let go. Her nails landed on his back. She clawed at him like crazy while her entire body started shaking under him as he made her cum. He had no doubt she would have screamed if she could but all there came out was muffled cries caused by his actions and he had never heard anything that sexy before.

He came right after and collapsed down on her. His hand still laid on her throat but he wasn't squeezing anymore. He panted, trying to catch his breath, and first now he felt the delightful pain on his back and a tickling feeling of blood slowly running down.

He raised his head to look at her, a wide grin on his face that he couldn't hold back even if he tried.

"Did I do good?" He asked, his voice clearly shining through with pride.  
"Yeah," she answered and twisted a little smile.  
"So did you, lioness," he said and gave her a quick kiss.

He left her body and the bed and located his boxers on the floor. He didn't need to say anything to get her out. She already knew she wasn't supposed to stay the night and she didn't want to either. She left the bed as well and got dressed without a word.

"Hey," he called out as she started walking across the room.  
She turned around and looked at him.  
"Can you draw blood with your teeth as well?" He asked.  
"Of course," she answered.  
"Prove it next time," he said.

She nodded, turned around again and walked to the door. She opened it, stepped out of his room and just as she was closing the door behind her, she heard him speak in a soft tone.

"Sleep tight."


	5. Stay with me

He leaned back up with a sassy smile, looking at her after cumming inside her, but his smile quickly faded as he saw her eyes roll back in her head.

"Shit!" He hissed as his fingers quickly started working to get the belt out of the buckle.

This one was on him. He knew that. For one month they had been hooking up like this. Not every night of course but more times than he could remember. He couldn't remember ever fucking the same woman for that long and in his odd way of celebrating, he had put his belt around her throat. The look on her face had said it all, and once he saw that look, he couldn't take the belt off her again and not go through with it.

She had kept her part of the agreement and let him know when he reached the limit and for a while he had kept it there, but when she had cum, she had cum so fucking hard that it had turned him on like never before. He had leaned his head down on her shoulder while pounding into her like a mad mad and somewhere along the line, he must have accidently started pulling more on the belt, and knowing her, of course she hadn't let him know.

He slid down on his hip next to her while getting the belt of her and throwing it down on the floor. His hand quickly landed on her cheek where he slapped her lightly a couple of times.

"Hey! Hey! Breathe!" He said.

To his relief she started coughing.

"That's it. Stay with me," he said.

He mentally kicked himself for choosing those words. Of all the things he could have said instead - stay present, stay conscious, stay alive - he chose stay with me. He wasn't sure if she had heard him over her coughing and he wasn't about to repeat himself.

Shortly after she stopped coughing but her eyes were still watery. He looked at her, hoping she would give him a look back, but instead she started pushing herself up. She didn't get far though. He pushed her back down with his arm across her chest.

"No. Just relax for five minutes before you leave," he said.  
"I'm fine," she said.  
"Just do it. It will put my mind at ease knowing for sure you're completely fine before you go," he said.  
"Okay, five minutes," she agreed.

He moved his hand up to run his fingers on her collarbone. For a few moments they just laid like that before he finally opened his mouth to ask her something that had been on his mind for a long time.

"Why do you feel like you do? All dead inside?" He asked.  
"I don't know. My life has just been one constant mistake and at some point I just gave up and gave in," she answered.  
"But if you really wanna die, why don't you just do it yourself?" He was provoking her on purpose, not sure if he wanted to believe she was that broken that she actually wanted to die.  
"Because I'm a coward," she answered.

He stopped running his fingers on her collarbone. He found that hard to believe. She had this huge wall up and she never let anyone bullshit her around. A coward? He couldn't picture her like that.

"I can't even tell you the number of bridges I've been standing on or the number of train tracks I've been looking at in each town we go to, just trying to psych myself up to do it. I always fail. But dying by someone else's hand, that's different. That doesn't scare me," she continued.  
"Diana..." The words got stuck in his throat.  
"Time's up," she said and quickly slid out from underneath his arm.

He stayed in bed and watched her get dressed. She was always so fast to get her clothes back on and leave his room. Lately he was beginning to think that she was too fast but he never said it out loud.

With a twisted smirk she bowed down to pick up the belt and threw it on the bed next to him.

"You're using that again," she said.

Then she was gone before he even got a chance to answer.

"I don't know," Dean said next day as he was out for lunch at a quiet diner together with Roman and Seth. "She's just creeping under my skin somehow."  
"Could it be you've actually caught feelings for her?" Roman asked.  
"Feelings? Me? Never! I am the mighty sex god Dean Ambrose," Dean answered and laughed.  
"And again he tries to cover up what he really feels with a lame joke," Seth said.

Roman nodded. They both knew this was Dean's usual way of hiding what he really felt. To their surprise Dean didn't try to deny it or talk his way out of it like he usually did. He just sighed and looked down at his food.

"I don't know. Maybe you're right," he said quietly.  
"Let me ask you this. Do you ever talk to her or is it just sex?" Roman asked.  
"We talk a little but she doesn't really say much. It's hard to make her open up," Dean answered.  
"But you want her to?" Roman asked.  
"Yeah," Dean answered.  
"Have you ever asked her to spend the night with you?" Roman continued asking.  
"No," Dean answered.  
"Maybe you should start there," Roman said.  
"I don't think she'll want to," Dean said.  
"You'll never know unless you ask," Roman said.

Dean pushed his plate away, suddenly his appetite was gone.

"I'm with Roman here. You'll never know unless you ask," Seth said.  
"She's just so broken. She's got some real issues," Dean said.  
"So do you," Seth reminded him.  
"That's not really helping," Dean said.  
"You worked your way through yours. Maybe it's time to focus on someone else instead of just yourself for a change. How about asking her out for dinner or some normal stuff instead of always just playing kinky sex games in your hotel room?" Roman asked.  
"But those games are so much fun," Dean smirked.  
"And you can still play and do normal stuff on the side," Seth said.

Dean started drumming his fingers on the table, clearly thinking about what his two friends had just said.

"I'm driving straight home after the show tonight. I'll have a couple of days to think about it and try to figure it out," he said.


	6. Back on the road

Being home for two days hadn't made it any easier for Dean. He had missed her, too much if someone would ask, and he couldn't figure out how on earth they had managed to fuck each other for an entire month without ever exchanging phone numbers.

He had gone around for two days just wanting to hear her voice. Ever since Roman and Seth had brought up the subject of feelings, everything had changed. He had allowed himself to actually connect with what he really felt and had been feeling for some time now.

The sight of her took his breath away. Back on the road, back at some crappy hotel in god knew what town, but back with her.

"Damn it, lioness," he muttered to himself as she entered the lobby in a pair of tight black leather pants and a crystal blue top.

She went straight to the front desk to check in.

He casually walked towards her, trying not to draw too much attention by anyone, even though he knew he always drew attention no matter where he went. He also knew it was beginning to be pointless to try and hide it. People had begun whispering in the corners and he had heard their names mentioned in sentences together several times. Not that it bothered him. It never bothered him that people knew who he fucked. He just didn't know if it bothered her.

"Hey Diana," he said as he reached her.  
"Dean," she said and nodded.  
"Did you have a nice trip here?" He asked.  
"I'm here. That's all that matters," she answered.  
"And your two days off? Did you do something fun?" He asked.  
"Cut the small talk, Dean. We both know that's not you. What do you want?" She asked and looked at him.  
"You," he said and quickly coughed. "I mean, I want you to come by my room tonight. Room 442."  
"Sure. See you later," she said and started walking towards the elevator.

"What's the rush?" Seth asked jokingly as Dean hurried towards the locker room door after what must have been the quickest shower on earth.  
"Diana," was all Dean shouted over his shoulder.  
"Yeah? She's stopping by tonight?" Seth chuckled.

Dean didn't answer. He just opened the door and hurried on his way.

"I think we got through to him somehow," Seth said as he turned to look at Roman.  
"He must have done some thinking at home since he stormed off like that to see her," Roman said.  
"Let's just hope she feels the same way or we will have to be there to pick him up and you know that a shattered Dean is a dangerous Dean," Seth said.

"I haven't been able to get that image out of my head all day since I saw you this morning in the lobby," Dean said as he was closing in on her.  
"What image?" She asked.  
"You in those tight pants. So fucking hot," he said as he bowed his head down and sank his teeth into her neck.

She let out a moan, making him bite down even harder just to hear her moan louder. With his teeth still stuck in her skin, he opened her pants and started pushing them down her thighs along with her panties. He let go off her skin and dropped down on his knees to get her out of her clothes all the way.

His head was lined with her crotch. How many times hadn't he dreamed about doing it but she never wanted foreplay. It was always straight to business with her. He wouldn't allow it anymore, at least not this time. Before she knew off it, he locked his arms around her legs to keep her from moving and buried his face in her pussy.

"Dean," she said and tugged on his hair to make him stop.  
He didn't budge.  
"Dean!" She raised her voice and tugged even harder.

He let out a little chuckle while continuing to assault her. She should know by now that pulling on his hair like that only made him even more horny. It had the opposite effect of what she was trying to do right now. He squeezed his arms tighter around her. No way was he gonna let her go now that he had her where he wanted. He dug his nails into her skin as his tongue kept working on her and a minute later she finally gave in to him and started shaking and moaning as he made her cum.

He kept his arms locked around her legs as he lifted her up and threw her on the bed. He had gotten what he wanted, now it was time to give her what she wanted. Pain, pleasure, darkness... and hopefully another orgasm.

"Take that off," he said and pointed at her top while he started undressing himself.

Her top went flying towards him and he smirked at the sight of her bare breasts. He loved it when she wasn't wearing a bra like today. He grabbed her hair and yanked her head back hard before bowing down to kiss her.

"Turn around," he said playfully as he pulled away from her.

She quickly turned around to stand on all four. He bit his lower lip as he settled behind her and thrust into her right away. Only two days away from her and he had missed being with her more than he realized.

He grabbed her hips, squeezed tight to leave bruises on purpose, hurting her like he knew she preferred. His hand went back in her hair and he yanked her up to stand only on her knees and pressed her up against his chest. His left arm went across her chest to keep her there while his right hand found its familiar place around her throat, squeezing until she said the one word that let him know he had reached the limit. Not her limit but his own.

He felt her walls tighten as she struggled to breathe. Her nails slowly and painfully made their way up his thighs as she came. Those muffled cries were more beautiful that any loud screams could ever be.

"So... fucking... sexy..." He growled lowly between his hard thrusts.

That's all he got out before he came too.

He let go off her throat and both of his hands instantly found their way to her breasts, squeezing lightly as he heard her breathing start to become more regular again. He always enjoyed the moment right after. The moment where she looked almost happy, the moment where she still wasn't breathing right but close, the moment before she would leave him. Not today. He would ask her to stay, make her stay somehow.

"For fuck's sake!" He shouted as his phone started ringing.

He pulled out of her to locate it in his jeans on the floor. Seth's name flashed on the screen. He turned his eyes back on her.

"Stay!" He said with a lifted finger before walking out on the balcony to answer.

"What's so important that it couldn't wait till tomorrow?" Dean sneered as he answered the phone.  
Both Seth and Roman started laughing in the other end.  
"Great, so I'm on speaker, I take it," Dean said.  
"We were just curious," Seth said.  
"About what?" Dean asked.  
"About if you convinced her to stay the night," Seth answered.  
"I was just about to ask when you two idiots called and ruined the moment," Dean said.  
"Oh shit, we're sorry," Seth said.  
"See you tomorrow," Roman quickly said before the call was ended.

He turned around just to see the door to his room close behind her.

"No, no, no," he said lowly as he hurried inside.

He was just about to run towards the door when he remembered he was still naked. He quickly grabbed his jeans and got back in them, not even closing the zipper and the button, before he hurried out in the hallway. It was empty.

"I am gonna kill those guys tomorrow!" He growled to himself.

He slammed the door loudly as he went back inside his room. He threw himself down on his back where she had just been minutes before in the bed.

"You're so fucking dead," he said out in the air, hoping the words somehow would travel to Seth and Roman.


	7. It reeks of death

Seth yawned from the back seat as Roman started the car.

"Why do we have to go this early?" Seth asked in a grumpy tone.  
"Since you two fuckers destroyed my night, I figured I might as well wake you up to get an early start," Dean answered.  
"So waking us up at 6 AM was revenge?" Seth asked.  
"See, you get it," Dean answered.  
"We said we were sorry," Seth said and kicked the passenger seat in front of him which Dean was seated in.  
"Not good enough," Dean said.

Roman pulled out of the parking lot and on to the street.

"We got two days in the next town due to that event tomorrow. Why don't you dress up real nice for her and try to be a gentleman?" He asked.  
"It's Diana. She doesn't care what I look like. She cares about what I do," Dean said.  
"So do right by her. Show her the good man we know you can be," Roman said.  
"But she wants the beast," Dean reminded him.  
"Maybe there's room for both of them," Roman said.

Dean's face lit into a smile early that evening as he walked into catering at the arena and spotted her right away. He hadn't seen her since she left his room the night before. He quickly made his way over and sat down at the table she was seated at. He never got a chance to say anything since Bayley suddenly made her way over to them. If there was one woman he really regretted taking to bed of all their co-workers, it was Bayley. She had turned into a borderline stalker right after and Roman and Seth had had a lot of trouble getting rid off her as well.

"Hey Dean, haven't seen you around for a while," Bayley cooed and ran her fingers through his hair.  
"Don't touch me!" He sneered and pushed her hand away.

He looked across the table, his eyes one big apology as he searched for Diana's eyes. To his surprise she had leaned back in her chair with an amused look on her face as if she was enjoying the show that was starting to take place right in front of her.

"What's so special about her?" Bayley raised her voice and pointed at Diana.

Everything. The word was right there on his tongue but he couldn't get it out. It wasn't that he was afraid to say it. He just wanted to say it in private to her first before letting everyone else know.

"Just go away, Bayley," he said with a sigh.  
"No, I wanna know what's so special about her!" Bayley shouted while giving Diana's head a push.

Diana might not even care to react to that little push but Dean saw red. He flew up from the chair and grabbed Bayley's shirt.

"You don't fucking touch her!" He spat into her face.  
"Let me go," she whimpered.

He realized everyone around them had gone dead quiet. He looked around to see all eyes were on them. He let go of Bayley's shirt and held his hands up in the air to signal he wasn't gonna do anything else. Bayley took off immetiately. He turned his attention towards Diana again just to see she was standing up too.

"Did you just bare your teeth for me?" She asked.

There was a hint of a giggle in her voice. Not the girly kind of giggle indicating that she liked having a protector, more a mocking kind of giggle.

"So what if I did?" He asked back.  
"I don't need you to fight my battles," she said and walked away.

He wanted to take off after her but he was still too aware of everyone watching him silently. He swallowed hard and sat back down ashamed, hoping that everyone would just return to whatever they had been doing two minutes earlier.

He hadn't been able to locate her during the show. She had taken off immetiately after her match and he had no idea which hotel room she was in. After pacing his own room for an hour without being able to get tired at all, he decided to make his way down to the bar. To his surprise she was sitting there with a beer in her hand. He quickly walked over to her and sat down. She hardly looked at him. Her eyes were focused else where.

"What are you doing?" He asked.  
"People watching," she answered.

He followed her gaze towards a man sitting alone at a table with a glass of water in front of him.

"What? You're interested in him?" Dean asked, his tone sounded a bit more scared than he meant to.  
"Please! I could jump up on this table and dance naked and he wouldn't even look my way," she answered.  
"What makes you so sure about that?" He asked.

Her eyes moved from the man and wandered towards the bar.

"See that brunette standing alone up there?" She asked.

He looked towards the bar as well.

"Yeah," he answered.  
"I bet you she's gonna turn up tomorrow either missing or dead," she said.  
"What?" He asked shocked and stared at her.

She twisted a little smile and emptied her beer.

"It reeks of death in here and he's the reason why," she said and nodded at the man.  
"What the fuck are you on?" He asked.  
"He's been staring at her ever since I got here an hour ago, never taking his eyes off her just once. By the way he's reacting, I'm gonna say it's not his first time. He's maybe done it once or twice before so he's still a bit insecure but cocky enough to think he can pull it off again. Right now he's probably thinking about the best way to go around it," she answered.  
"Alright, I'll play along. And what is the best way?" He asked and shook his head a bit.  
"He can choose to go to her and get her attention, hope that she'll invite him to her room. But that will make the bartender notice him. The bartender has been paying a lot of attention towards her so he'll definately notice if she leaves with someone. Or he could wait for her to leave and follow her but that will make it harder when he has to ambush her somehow," she said.  
"You're fucking crazy," he chuckled.  
"Just calling it like I see it," she said and twisted a little smile.

He shook his head again and kept his laughter within. She was crazy but he liked it. He reached over the table to grab her hand. The only thought crossing his mind was getting her back up to his room and pleasure her. A thought that was quickly put to rest as a very drunk Bayley stumbled into the bar and straight over to their table.

"I wanna know what she's got that I don't!" Bayley yelled with tears in her eyes.  
"You're drunk. Go sleep it off," he said coolly.  
"But I wanna sleep with you," she said and leaned over the table, hoping he would start looking at her instead of Diana.  
"Seriously Bayley, just go to bed before you make a complete fool out of yourself," he said.  
"Oh, I'm a fool now? I might be a fool but you're nothing but a slut!" She yelled.

He laughed and shook his head in disbelief. He was beginning to understand why Seth and Roman were smart enough not to sleep with any of their co-workers. He had put himself in this awkward position.

"Yeah, I'm a slut. Now go away," he said.  
"No!" She pouted like a child.  
"Bayley, seriously, I don't want anything to do with you. You weren't even a good fuck," he said, hoping to hurt her enough to back off.  
"Well, I sure was good enough for you that night," she started crying.  
"You were there. You were convenient. Nothing else," he said.

He stood up to look over Bayley's body that was still leaned over the table just to realize that Diana wasn't sitting there anymore. He spun around, his eyes searching the entire bar, but she was gone. She had somehow managed to stand up quietly and slip away while he had desperately tried to get rid off Beyley. His despise towards the woman still standing in front of him grew twice the size in a second.

"Dean, please," she cried and grabbed his wrist.  
He yanked his hand away from her.  
"Don't ever fucking touch me again! You were nothing but a mistake!" He shouted and took off.


	8. Stay the night

Dean felt like he stepped straight into a movie the second he stepped out of the elevator. He had been on his way to the gym but suddenly he was surrounded by a lot of people, guests of the hotel and the police. He spotted Diana, Seth and Roman standing a little away together with some of the other wrestlers and he quickly made his way over the them.

"What's going on?" He asked once he reached them.  
"Some woman was found murdered in her room by the house cleaner this morning," Roman answered.

Dean's eyes immetiately caught Diana's.

"What woman?" He asked in a hard tone.  
"How should I know? All I know is that all our co-workers are counted for, luckily," Roman answered.

Dean grabbed Diana's wrist and pulled her aside. Some of their co-workers watched him pull her away from them but he couldn't care about them right now. This was more important and couldn't wait.

"It's her, isn't it?" He asked.  
"Her who?" She asked innocently.  
"Don't play games right now, Diana. It's that woman from the bar, isn't it?" He asked.  
"I honestly don't know but probably. I told you this would happen," she said.  
"You need to say something to the police. Tell them about that man," he said.  
"Yeah, because that won't make me look like a suspect at all," she said with a cold laugh. "Excuse me, mr officer, you haven't released any information or picture of the victim yet but I know who it is."

He sighed and looked down for a second.

"You're right. That would look pretty suspicious," he said.  
"Anyway, gotta go," she said and took off before he could even try and stop her.

He went to the gym with Seth and Roman shortly after to try and get his mind off everything but it didn't work. Somehow he felt scared all of the sudden. Scared because of her, scared that he might lose her. It didn't get any better when he checked up on the case after his workout and saw that the police had released a photo of the victim and information about her death. There she was, the brunette from the bar, just as Diana had predicted. Apparently she had been strangled to death. And even worse, it turned out the entire security system at the hotel had been broken for a long time but the owner hadn't gotten around to fix it since he thought it could wait. They had no footage to show whoever had been near her.

He couldn't wait for this day to be over. He wouldn't relax before they were all on the road again next day. He just needed to find her and keep a close eye on her until then. Keep her close to him.

He hated dressing up for events like this but it came with the job every now and then. He was in a pair of black pants combined with a dark grey shirt. He simply refused to wear a jacket on top of that. He stood waiting for Seth and Roman in the lobby. He sucked in his breath as the door opened and she stood there in a raspberry coloured dress next to Seth. She gave him a small nod before walking through the lobby and disappearing out in one of the many waiting cars that would drive them to the event.

"What the hell, Seth?" Dean asked as Seth walked over to him.  
"Don't even start thinking like that. Apparently she's on the same floor as me. The room across from mine. I didn't know until two minutes ago where we literally walked out of our rooms at the same time," Seth said.

The elevator opened again and Roman stepped out. The three men walked outside together to get into a car.

He felt happy when he realized he had been seated at the same table as her. Only problem was that she was seated across from him, making it impossible for him to strike up a private conversation with her. She looked just as uncomfortable as he felt by being there. None of them saying anything the entire evening unless someone asked them directly about something. He just kept looking at her the entire time, wishing he could be right next to her and just hold her hand under the table and whisper in her ear how beautiful she looked.

He sighed in relief when the event was finally over. Apparently she felt just as relieved as him because she couldn't get up from the table fast enough to make her way outside. He followed through the crowd, hoping to catch the same car as her. Unfortunately she got the last available spot in the car she stepped into and he was forced to get into the next one. He watched as the car in front of him drove away while he waited for his car to be filled up.

She walked through the lobby and straight to the bar where she stopped in the entrance and just scanned the room. It was full of people like the night before and she searched the room, her eyes taking in every face as quickly as she could.

"Diana!" Dean called out the moment he too stepped into the lobby and saw her standing further down.

She quickly turned away from the bar and walked down to meet him. This entire day had been chaos in his head so instead of saying anything, he just took her hand and walked her to the elevator. It wasn't until the door closed, he finally opened his mouth.

"You look really beautiful tonight," he said.  
"Yeah well, apparently there's a real girl hidden inside me after all," she joked.  
"Most women would say thank you when they get a compliment," he said.  
"Like those other women you usually fuck? You want me to be more like them?" She asked.  
"No!" He quickly said and squeezed her hand.

The elevator stopped on his floor and they stepped out of it together. He kept holding her hand as they walked towards his room. He unlocked the door and they both stepped inside. She dropped her purse on the table.

"I don't do that anymore, you know," he said as he closed in on her, putting his arms around her. "Fuck other women, I mean. I haven't since you got into the picture."

He pulled the zipper down on her dress and it fell to the floor.

"So beautiful," he whispered as he looked down her body.

His lips attached themselves to her neck while he opened her bra and slid it down her arms, letting it land at her feet like the dress seconds before. His hands trailed down her sides, landing on her hips. She hissed in pain as his fingers dug into the bruises he had made two days earlier and he smiled against her neck. His fingers hooked her panties and sent them down to the floor as well.

His hand went back to her hips as his lips found hers and he slowly backed her up against the wall. Not caring about the stupid dress shirt on his body, he ripped it open to get out of it fast. He could hear her snigger against his lips as the shirt came off his body. He kicked off his shoes, and his pants and socks followed quickly after.

With everything that had happened over the last 24 hours, with how scared he had felt the entire day due to it all, he needed something different. He needed her. He lifted her up, her back still pressed against the wall, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he entered her. Screw the pain, screw what they usually did. He just wanted to feel her close.

He held her up with one hand under her while his other hand were roaming her face, neck and throat. No squeezing, no hurting, no punishment. He caressed her, pulled her head closer, feeling how intense everything was around him. He couldn't help it though. He couldn't keep pain away from her. He caught her bottom lip between his teeth and the moment he tasted her blood in his mouth, he heard her loud moans and felt her cum.

He thrust up into her five more times and moaned out loud too as he came. He leaned his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath.

"Stay the night," he said without even thinking about it.  
"Are you demanding?" She asked.

He gently put her back down on her feet.

"No, I'm asking. Please, will you stay the night?" He asked.  
"We don't usually do that," she said.

He took a step backwards and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know that but I want you to," he said, his eyes almost begging her.  
"Will that make you happy, Dean?" She asked.  
"Yes," he answered and smiled. "Yes, that will make me happy."

She nodded and walked towards the bed.

"Alright, then I'll stay," she said.

He hurried over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He placed a soft kiss on her neck before dragging her down with him on the bed.

"How do you wanna do this?" She asked.  
He looked at her confused, not sure he understood what she meant.  
"How do you want me to be? With my back against you, or...?" She started but was cut off as he dragged her down to lie on his chest.  
"I just want you here," he said as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

He fell asleep fast with a little smile on his face. She waited, stared into the air, until she was sure he was deep asleep. She leaned her head up to look at him. How they had gotten to this all of the sudden, she wasn't sure. It was only supposed to be one fuck that one time a little over a month ago and here they were in a position neither of them wanted to begin with.

For the first time in her life she felt guilty. Guilty that she had gone back to him after that one time, guilty that she knew he had developed feelings for her that she could never repay, guilty that she knew she was about to hurt him. So maybe she did feel something towards him but it wasn't the same as he felt towards her. She could never make him happy, not like he wanted to be, not like he deserved to be.

She slowly made her way out of his arms, careful not to wake him. He had said it would make him happy if she stayed the night and although she couldn't fulfill his wish completely, at least he fell asleep happy. That was the only thing, the last thing she could give him.

She quietly got back into her clothes, careful not to make any sound at all to wake him up. She took out pen and paper from her purse and quickly scribbled down some words for him and left the note on the table. She took one last look at him, he was still smiling in his sleep, and then she left his room.

She made her way down to the bar, her eyes searching that one table where she had spotted him earlier that evening before Dean had called out to her. He was still there and by the way he looked around, he still hadn't found a single woman to prey on yet. Determined she made her way over to his table and sat down.

Dean woke up next morning by someone knocking on his door. Confusion hit him as he realized he was alone and naked in his bed. Someone knocked again. He tumbled out of bed and put on his boxers. He grabbed a pair of jeans from his suitcase and walked towards the door with them in his hand.

"I'm sorry, is she actually in there?" Seth asked when Dean opened.  
"She was. I don't know where she is now," Dean answered.

He stepped aside and allowed his two brothers to enter his room while he got his jeans on.

"She left a note," Roman said and pointed at the table, making sure not to read it since he knew it was probably private.  
"What?" Dean asked, closing his jeans while walking over to pick up the note.

He stared at the words on the paper. She had quoted some of the lyrics from Within Temptation's song "Frozen".

 _I can feel your sorrow_  
 _You won't forgive me_  
 _But I know you'll be all right_  
 _It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go_

And then further down the paper, one sentence danced before his eyes, making him almost want to throw up in fear.

 _I can still smell him._

He took off running out of the door and towards the elevator. Seth and Roman quickly ran after him, knowing that something was very wrong by the way he suddenly acted.

"What floor are you on?" He screamed.

He pressed the button to the elevator like a maniac, throwing himself inside it as the door opened.

"What floor are you on, Seth?" He screamed again.  
"Third," Seth answered as both him and Roman followed inside.

"Which room?" Dean screamed as the door opened on the third floor and he started running down the hall.  
"Stop! Right there!" Seth called out as he came running behind him.

Dean quickly grabbed the handle but of course the door was locked. He started pounding away on it, screaming her name, begging for her to open and let him in, but he got nothing back but silence.

Roman turned his head as the elevator plinged again. Out stepped a house cleaner. He ran towards the little woman who was about to knock on the first door with a key card in her hand.

"Please, we need your help. We think our friend's in trouble," he said and pointed towards Seth and Dean.

She looked scared as Dean was still going crazy on the door.

"I'm sorry, sir, I can't..." She started.

Roman didn't have time to hear any excuses so he snatched the key card out of her hand and ran back to the others. He pushed Dean away and quickly unlocked the door. Dean threw open the door with such force that it slammed up into the wall with a loud sound but he couldn't care about that. He ran into the room and dropped to his knees.

"No..." The word barely left his mouth.

Roman and Dean came running in as well.

"Fuck!" Seth said.  
"No..." Dean's voice was a little louder this time.

Roman dropped down next to Dean and immetiately wrapped his arms around him.

"Don't look," he said.  
"No!" Dean was screaming now.

A female voice started screaming behind them. Seth turned around to see the house cleaner standing there, starting to go into shock, watching the dead woman lying on the floor, her clothes ripped and the wire from the night lamp around her throat.

"Get her out of here!" Roman yelled.  
Seth quickly turned around and pushed the woman out of the room.  
"Call the police," he hissed at her.

"No, Roman, no!" Dean was sobbing now.  
"It's not your fault," Roman said as he gently rocked Dean back and forward.  
"But why? Why would she go seek him out? I was right here. I was here for her. She was in my room. Why did she leave? Why did she do that?" Dean asked through his sobs.  
"I don't know, Dean, I don't know," Roman whispered.

Seth came back in and dropped down on Dean's other side, trying to comfort his friend too.

"She was a troubled soul," he said.  
"But I could have saved her. I should have saved her," Dean cried.  
"Ssh, don't go there. She's at peace now," Roman said.  
"I should have..." Dean's voice died out.


End file.
